Never to be the Receiver
by Specialshipping19
Summary: Slight AU, oneshot. 'She knew it was not meant to be...but she still wished she could confess to him before she left this world.' Based on an original poem I wrote. Guess who the guy was. The girl is not, Blue, to you all luc-OOPS!


All those hints thrown away, those smiles wasted, those words meaningless. His gentle demeanor, wonderful smile, were not hers to look at anymore. He was swept away by a current, a sparkling blue wave of power. Gone with the wave, he would never know. She knew it was not meant to be...but she still wished she could confess to him before she left this world.

She could still remember the day they met, a fateful day of surprises and her first friend. She remembered her eagerness, her joy when he did that for her. How could he be so nice to her, a stranger? But it didn't seem to bother him in the least that he was wasting a pokeball, time...just for her. Just for her, no one else.

But even though he did that, how could she just naturally assume, as they got to know each other, that he would fall for her? It was foolish of her to even have the slightest thought of that. He had already fallen for another, and that incident was just his kindness. Not anything else that counted.

Nevertheless, she cried. Cried so much, she could never cry as much ever again. When he was swept away by that wave...though he was safe in its arms, he wasn't in her arms. He was in another girl's arms, the girl as beautiful as the ocean. How could she compete against that? She was not as beautiful as the ocean, or as mature as she.

She could remember the day she left the world. With him gone, and the world at peace, she now longer had a goal, or purpose, in life. Pokemon were not abuse anymore, and the rare occasion in which they were, he was there with all the others. Not once did they think to ask her to come, even though it was obvious she would be eager and have the ability to help. Leaving the world was not very painful; in fact, it was refreshing. Free of guilt, free of sorrow, free of pain-those were the things that welcomed her. Even the prospect of meeting other specters in this realm did not startle her, as she was at peace.

The way she left the world may seem frightening and unreasonable. But she left because she thought she had no purpose, no goal, no meaning. One quick stab with a blade did the job. She had no fear when doing this, even though her friends were watching frightfully, trying to come into the house when outside. But it was too late. They lost her. But she loved them as much as she loved him, so she made sure to leave food easily somewhere they could have access to easily. Her friends were coming over the next day; it was her birthday the day she left and they wanted to celebrate. But she would never be able to stand to see the one she had loved in the arms of another.

So she left the world. It may sound selfish of her, but it was very selfless. When one feels that they will not benefit others on this world or has no more purpose, they should leave room for new lives, waiting to make a difference, to continue in their footsteps. Though her friends would grieve, she would watch over them, making sure no harm befell their path. She was forever with them.

But thoughts will always linger, and those feelings will always be in her heart. But the boy she loved...he might be forever oblivious. His arm around another, he might not notice. He might have been only a mere crush if he never realized her feelings towards him. Perhaps she was never destined to have a fairy-tale ending. Maybe she was only meant to benefit, not to help herself. Never to fulfill her forgotten dreams, only to help others complete theirs. Leaving imprints in others' hearts, but never in history as the pokemon healer. Imprints in pokemon's hearts...

Her friends were shocked when they came the nest day and found her body and the knife impaled in her heart, and her pokemon crawling over her, trying to wake her up. "Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts...and we are never, ever, the same," her close girl-friend told the others at her burial.

"She was cursed," cried another close friend of hers, "She was cursed to be the benefactor, never the receiver."

Even her love was sad...of course, his wave came and wiped away his tears. Wiping his fond memories with her, replacing them with his time with the sparkling blue wave.

But perhaps...when he left the world...she would be the receiver.

_**I don't really want to ruin the mood here...but I have to! **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the tiny part of the poem, "Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts...and we are never, ever, the same." I do own the 'benefactor and receiver' one, though. The full poem is below.**_

Never to be the Receiver

Smiles to people

Neglected even though

T'was helpful

Cursed forever

To be the benefactor

But never the receiver

A warm gentle laugh

Even though she should cry

So gentle,

So innocent

Strong-willed for the best

Did what she believed

Was the best for all

Acceptance to her

Cruel, cruel fate

Though happiness could not

Be found while alive,

Death may wipe

Her sorrow and grief

Off her heart

Selfless through life and death

Leaving for reasons

That were clear from the start

Left room for successors,

Left no one she knew tainted

By Scorn or neglect

Did all she could

To prevent any foul

Caused by her leave

In life,

She would help all she could

So the worst could be avoided

Once in a while

She would be happy

And thou who made her

Spirits fly,

Would be rewarded by her smile

As warm as the sun

But she will be forever cursed,

To always be the benefactor,

And never the receiver.


End file.
